Thoughts determine happiness

What you are thinking affects your happiness.  

To be happier, we need to actively manage our thoughts.

TLDR: We become our thoughts. Positive thoughts create positive feelings. Positive feelings make us happy. Two Circles of Influence. Flow. As a Man Thinketh. The Law of Attraction.

I put a lot of effort into being happy. It's a never-ending practice for me. 

Happiness is a continual challenge for most guys, attainable only with constant effort.  

The difference between men who are happy and those who are unhappy relates to the thoughts they feed their mind. 

The thoughts we feed our minds become our feelings. We become our thoughts. 

A friend of mine was recently lamenting the agony of his divorce court proceedings, with no end in sight. He was extremely unhappy. The stress was eating him alive. He felt like crap, drank a ton, became obese, and was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He could not stop ruminating on his divorce proceedings.  

What is "happiness" anyway? How does it feel? For me, it means positive feelings of contentment, serenity, peace, calm, joy, positive relationships, financial security, and feeling like I'm allocating my time in the direction of my mission and purpose. It's a feeling of Flow. 

So if happiness comes from feelings, then we need to actively work on generating positive feelings. 

How do we generate positive feelings? The answer is by managing the thoughts we focus on. Through the Law of Attraction (see below), we become our thoughts. 

Two Circles of Influence

At any point in time, we have two circles we can focus on: a Positive Circle and a Negative Circle.

Which one we choose to put front and center of our minds is the one that determines our feelings and degree of happiness. 

The key to happiness is to keep the Positive Circle in front. But it takes a lot of energy, focus, and work to do that. 

I would be the first to admit this is easier said than done, but it's the best path forward. Managing happiness is an ongoing exercise. It's work. 

Inevitably we need to take care of business and relationships that linger in the Negative Circle. 

But dwelling and ruminating on the Negative Circle is a drain of energy and resources that could be allocated to the Positive Circle. 

What we feed our minds is crucial. What we read, watch on TV, see on social media, and who we talk to all affect what goes into our circles. 

We need to be vigilant, to stand guard at the doorway to our mind so we stay focused on the Positive Circle.

I find the practice of focusing on the Positive Circle calming. It lowers the heart rate, helps with sleep, and improves mood.

Vigorous exercise, pumping iron, yoga, meditation, and powerful breathing techniques are wonderful, natural ways to build the ability to focus on the Positive Circle.

Flow

In the book, Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi talks a lot about controlling consciousness.[1]

• "Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy."
• Happiness is achieved with "control over the contents of our consciousness....through control over one's inner life." 
• "The simple truth - that the control of consciousness determines the quality of life - has been known for a long time; in fact, for as long as human records exist." 
• "The yogi disciplines in India, the Taoist approach to life developed in China, and the Zen varieties of Buddhism all seek to free consciousness from the deterministic influences of outside forces - be they biological or social in nature." 
• "Keeping order in the mind from within is very difficult....the mind is unable to prevent negative thoughts from elbowing their way to center stage....unless one learns to control consciousness."

[1] Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly (1990). Flow. New York: HarperCollins. See the book here: Flow

As a Man Thinketh

In the book, As a Man Thinketh, James Allen points to the power of thought.[2]

• "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he."
• "Only the wise man, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him." 
• "A noble and Godlike character is not a thing of favor or chance, but is the natural result of continued effort in right thinking. An ignoble and bestial character, by the same process, is the result of the continued harboring of groveling thoughts." 
• "Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace." 
• "Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bad fruit." 

[2] Allen, James (1903). As a Man Thinketh. See the book here: As A Man Thinketh

Law of Attraction

In the book, The Secret, Rhonda Byrne shares her wisdom and that of 24 co-authors where they discuss the Law of Attraction.[1] 

• The Secret is the Law of Attraction
• The Law of Attraction says you attract what you think about most
• Your life now is a reflection of your past thoughts
• Your thoughts now become your future life
• Thoughts become things
• Thoughts are magnetic, have a frequency, sent out to the Universe, and attracted back to you
• Your life is a mirror of the dominant thoughts you think
• See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it
• Make your last thoughts before sleep good thoughts
• Meditation quiets your mind for thought control
• Set the intention: "I am the master of my thoughts." 

[1] Byrne, Rhonda (2006). The Secret. New York: Atria Books.  See the book here: The Secret