Downsizing as we age - 16 benefits of minimalism

In this newsletter:
- One home, one suitcase
- Goodbye, business suits
- My simple life
- Why do we accumulate so much?
- 16 benefits of minimalism
- Marie Kondo
- Japanese tea house

“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis.”
-Tyler Durden, Fight Club (1999 film/1996 novel)

“We are more interested in making others believe we are happy than in trying to be happy ourselves.”
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

 (Both of those quotes are in Fumio Sasaki’s book - see below.)

One home, one suitcase

I’m realizing as I get older, I want a simpler life with less stuff.

At first, when I came to Miami Beach, the idea was I’d live in two places: Boston (during the summer months) and Miami Beach.

It took me less than a year to realize I did not want to live in two homes. I felt too spread-out. It was stressful. I like access to my full library of books and that was not easy living in two places.

Maybe if I was married two homes would work. One for me, one for her. I know a lot of guys who live at least part of the year that way. Maybe that's why they’re still married. But I’m not married.

One home and one suitcase are the way I want to live. Home base on the beach and the opportunity to travel anywhere in the world whenever I want.

The other night, I was with some friends. One of them, who’s a few years younger than me, proudly told us he has stuff in storage facilities in three different cities along the east coast of the U.S. These are furnishings and personal belongings from his past residences.

I made the comment that it must be stressful to hang on to all of that past - holding on to things he most likely will never use again. Storage is not free…and the lingering issue of what to do with all that stuff takes mental energy.

Living in one place brings me peace of mind. 

Goodbye, business suits

In 1983, straight out of college, I started collecting business suits. It was the uniform where I worked as an auditor at Price Waterhouse (now called PwC) in San Jose, CA. Our clients were mostly startup technology companies.

Admittedly, I felt awkward wearing business suits in Silicon Valley. Back then, our tech clients didn’t wear business suits. They would say their focus was on innovation, not on looking fancy.

They wore tee shirts and jeans. And had wonderful Friday afternoon beer fests that I greatly envied.

But long story short, I ended up spending the next 30 years wearing business suits because I was in the institutional investment business. That was the standard uniform.

Business suits never really made sense to me. We wore long-sleeved shirts, a piece of cloth hanging from our necks (called a "tie" because they strangle us), and a jacket on top of that. I was always hot and sweaty in a suit.  And it was unfair that businesswomen got to dress far more comfortably than men.

I’m happy to say that my move to Miami Beach, and change in career, means I no longer need to wear business suits. All of my business suits, and almost 50 ties, are gone. I gave them to the Goodwill. 

Actually, I kept one business suit. It’s for weddings and funerals. In Miami Beach, my usual attire is shorts and a tee shirt. Just like my days as a kid in California.

My simple life

My life is simple now. I have downsized.

When I moved to Miami Beach, I arrived with suitcases. No moving trucks.

I got rid of a lot of stuff. The process of downsizing was extremely enjoyable. I made a fresh start.

Today I live in a 1,100 square foot townhouse two blocks from the beach. I feel lighter, leaner, cleaner, and freer now that I've minimized my possessions.

I have no car. I either walk or bike wherever I go. Everything is close by – grocery stores, home goods stores, barber shops, gyms, yoga studios, etc. Uber is one minute away. Two minutes when it's busy.

After downsizing, it’s much easier to focus on what's important to me, my purpose and my writing practice. It’s better for concentration and productivity.

As we get older, the less energy we have. That’s just the way it works.

The more possessions we have, the more energy and time we need to devote to maintain and manage them. More things means less energy to spend on what really matters to us.   

These days I consider myself somewhat of a minimalist. I believe having less stuff is positive for Well-Being. That’s why Fumio Sasaki’s book, Goodbye, Things: The New Japanese Minimalism, appealed to me.

In Goodbye, Things, Fumio Sasaki lays out 70 tips to "help you say goodbye to your things." 

Minimalism, he says, is a method to find the things that are most important to us and getting rid of the rest.

Why do we accumulate so much stuff?

- Simply from getting older - Kids are grown, moved out, and leave stuff behind; we inherit our deceased parents' belongings; divorce means we split our possessions; multiple job changes and moving to new homes. 

- Societal pressure – Neighbors, friends, classmates, relatives, and advertisements can condition us to believe we need more.

- Fear of missing out – New toys, gadgets, trendy clothes, and cool cars can become a subconscious competition to keep up with the Joneses.
(Heads up – the Joneses don't really exist. And even if they did exist, they wouldn't care what you have.)

- Emotional attachment – Sentimental memories attached to things from our parents, kids, lovers. Concert tickets, souvenirs, vinyl records, baseball caps, etc.

- Demonstrate worth – We desperately use objects to prove our worth to others, to convey our worthiness. 

- To fit in with the pack – We want what our neighbors and friends have so we can fit in. We feel lonely if we don’t fit in.

- To boost self-esteem - What we own becomes who we are. We increase our belongings thinking that will increase our self-image.

I'm often baffled by how much time and energy people spend maintaining and managing all the things they accumulate - artwork, cars, homes, scotch, boats, etc. 

16 benefits of becoming a minimalist

- Focus on experiences – Spend less time accumulating, more time on creating experiences.

- Less stress – Less stuff to worry about.

- Emotional Well-Being – Downsizing is liberating. Makes it easier to focus on what truly matters.

- Safety and mobility – Less clutter means less risk of accidents for children and older folks.

- Financial benefits – Fewer cars and smaller homes mean lower costs.

- More free time – Less maintenance and upkeep.

- Fosters independence – Reduced reliance on staff to maintain everything.

- Facilitates transitions and trips – It’s easier to move to a different home and easier to travel with fewer possessions.

- Improved quality of life – It’s easier to cherish what we have, take better care of what we own. There is joy in simplicity.

- More productivity – More open space is better for thinking. Less time is spent organizing and looking for things.

- Deeper relationships – Focus on meaningful connections, letting go of ones that hold us back.

- Mindful consumption – More intentional about food, media, purchases, etc.

- Personal growth – Letting go of possessions forces us to confront our values and priorities, helps us understand what drives our happiness.

- Fewer comparisons - Unhappiness comes from constantly comparing ourselves to others. Remember Steve Jobs’ wardrobe - the black turtlenecks? Do you think he cared what we thought about his attire?

- Easier to be present – Fewer possessions to manage brings more peace and serenity.

- More gratitude – It’s easier to appreciate what we have when we have less.

In her hugely popular bestselling book, Marie Kondo says it’s less a matter of throwing out what you don’t want and more about keeping the things that “spark joy.” Only by picking up each item and asking “does this spark joy” can we really know if it’s something worthy of keeping.

Marie Kondo is the Japanese author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.

She's become famous as an author, TV presenter, and organizing consultant. In 2015, she was named to the Time 100 list of the world’s most influential people.

Her books on organizing have sold millions of copies. On Amazon, she has almost 60,000 ratings; and almost 400,000 ratings on Goodreads.

Here’s her Netflix series: Tidying Up with Marie Kondo

I still have my places in Boston but they are now just rentals.

The problem, however, is I still have stuff in storage there.

Becoming a minimalist continues to be a process for me. I'm getting there slowly but surely.

Thank you for reading! 

Be well,

Peter Pavlina

Japanese Tea House
I find Japanese tea houses to be great examples of minimalism.