I moved to Thailand - I am free

In this newsletter:
- I moved to Thailand
- To be free is everything
- It's My Life - Bon Jovi
- My Way - Frank Sinatra
- Find your freedom

I moved to Thailand – I am free

This might sound crazy, but I moved from Miami Beach to Chiang Mai, Thailand.

My plan was to spend two months in Southeast Asia and then head home. I went to Vietnam, Thailand, Bali, Malaysia...And then I decided to move to Thailand.

It's a lot of work to move to another country. I have not sent out a newsletter for five months.

Don’t get me wrong. I really like Miami Beach. The beautifully manufactured bodies are amazing, and I’ve never seen more expensive cars and boats anywhere in my life. You can almost hear people screaming for attention.

“The girls comb their hair in rearview mirrors
And the boys try to look so hard”
- Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run

Over my two months of travel, I returned to Chiang Mai three times. I was unquestionably drawn there. I’ll talk more about Chiang Mai next week. It's a special place.

Many factors influenced my decision to move to Thailand.

Here are two that stand out.

First, what struck me about Thailand, and much of Southeast Asia for that matter, was how people with so little can be so happy. At the same time, I'm reminded how people with so much, like in America, can be so unhappy. I’ll also talk more about this next week.

Second, for the first time in my life, I feel totally free to do as I wish. I’m a fortunate man.

On one of my flights over the summer, I reread this passage by one of my favorite authors, John O'Donohue:

To Become Free Is Everything

“Sometimes ideas hold us down; they become heavy anchors that hold the bark of identity fixated in shallow, dead water. In the Western tradition, the idea of the sinfulness and selfishness of the self has trapped many lovely people all their lives in a false, inner civil war. Fearful of valuing themselves in any way, they have shunned their own light and mystery. Their inner world remained permanently off limits. People were given to believe that they were naturally bad and sinful. They let this toxic idea into their minds and it gradually poisoned their whole way of seeing themselves. Sin was around every corner, and in any case, probable damnation waited at the end of the road. People were unwittingly drafted into blaspheming against their own nature. You could not let yourself go. Any longing to claim your nature or to pursue your wildness would lead to ruin. This corrupted the innocence of people’s sensual life and broke the fluency of their souls. Rather than walking the path with the encouraging companionship of your protecting angel beside you and the passionate creativity of the Holy Spirit at your deepest core, you were made to feel like a convict trapped between guilt and fear. It is one of the awful sins committed against people. So many good people were internally colonized with a poisonous ideology that had nothing to do with the kind gentleness and tender sympathy of God.”

“Despite our being subjugated by negative belief, there remains a deep longing in every person for self-discovery. No one can remain continually unmoved by the surprising things that rise to the surface of one’s life. It is a great moment when you break out of the prison of negative self-criticism and develop a sense of the inner adventure of the soul. Suddenly everything seems to become possible. You feel new and young. As you step through the dead threshold, you can hear the old structures of self-hate and self-torment collapsing behind you. Now you know that your life is yours and that good things are going to happen to you…”

“We were created to be free; within you there is deep freedom. This freedom will not intrude; it will not hammer at the door of your life and force you to embrace it. The greater presences within us do not act in this way. Their invitation is inevitably subtle and gracious. In order to inherit your freedom, you need to go towards it. You have to claim your own freedom before it becomes yours. This is neither arrogant nor selfish; it is simply moving towards the gift that was prepared for you from ancient times...”

“Rousseau said, “Man was born free, yet everywhere I look, I see him in chains.” Each of us has a reservoir of unknown freedom, yet our fear holds us back. The worst chains are not the chains which others would have you wear. The chains with which you manacle yourself cut deepest and hold you longest. In a certain sense, no one outside you can imprison you. They can only turn you into a prisoner, if you assent and put on the chains they offer. There are no psychological police. Only you can step over that threshold into the prison of image, the prison of expectation, or the prison of anxiety.”

John O’Donohue, Eternal Echoes 

The idea of freedom is interesting to me. Often we need to free ourselves not only from others, but from ourselves. I can relate to this.

I quoted John O’Donohue in my last newsletter: A Mental Prison

It’s My Life, My Way

Indeed, I am now free. I hope I encourage you to find your freedom.

Now at 65, I look back on my life.

I spent decades worrying about a lot of people.

I supported a family of six for 35 years.

I had responsibilities to clients, managers, staff, investors, students, administrators, regulators, church, soccer teams, and many others.

And in later years, I worried about aging parents and spent too much time concerning myself with others' addiction, financial, and mental health problems.

During those years, I had to remind myself it’s not about me. If I forgot that then someone would surely remind me otherwise.

Well, guess what? It’s different now. It is about me. It’s My Life.

I’m going to do what I want to do. My way.

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive

It's my life
My heart is like the open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just want to live while I'm alive
It's my life

You better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

Jon Bon Jovi, It’s My Life

And here’s Jon’s reference to Frankie:

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way…

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels…

Frank Sinatra, My Way 

Find Your Freedom

When I was in Bali, my cousins sent me text messages informing me of the passing of my aunt.

After learning I was in Asia, one of my older cousins, Louise, sent me this reminder: "Life is short. Enjoy it."

To say that that message deeply affected me would be an understatement.

I encourage you, dear reader, to find your freedom. It's there. It's waiting for you.

Bon Jovi's song has always carried a powerful message for me. It's an anthem about personal empowerment and living life on your own terms, a declaration of individuality and resilience.

To add to that message, I encourage men to live boldly and unapologetically, regardless of the challenges we face or the candy-asses who get in our way.

It's okay to ignore what others say or think and to ignore societal expectations.

In the end, we want to look back and reflect with pride and assurance that we have lived authentically, on our own terms.

I am blessed that I no longer have to submit to others. I am independent and I love it.

We should refuse to apologize for the choices we've made, whether conventional or unconventional.

Before it’s too late, we need to assert control over our destiny. Make our own rules.

One day, we will have to "face the final curtain."

Thank you for reading!

Be well,
Peter Pavlina